Beautiful Imperfection
by Letheanlove
Summary: Christmas is just around the corner, but Nico is far from happy and on the verge of a relapse. / Self-harm. Post-HoO timeline.


**_Not keen on the writing of this one, but I love the idea...I had been wanting to write a fanfic about the holidays before it came and past, and this just randomly came to me late one night._**

**_TW: self-harm implications. If easily triggered, please proceed with caution. (I for one know how triggering stories can be - so please keep this in mind when reading anything of this sort)_**

**_EDIT: God... I was rereading this and found so many embarrassing grammatical errors. Sorry! Hopefully fixed now._**

Nico was alone.

Curled up on his bed, he took a sharp intake of breath as a pain tore through his chest, hugging himself tighter. He shouldn't be feeling this way. He had been getting better - he really had. So why was he falling into another funk?

He was usually alone in the Hades cabin. This time was no different... Or was it?

Most of the demigods had gone home and were spending the holidays with family or friends or both. Some were still around, currently at some celebratory get together. But it didn't really matter to him. He was just a burden - a kicked puppy - to everyone.

Why would they want anything to do with him during the joyous time of Christmas? He had been invited multiple times, but he knew he'd cast a dark aura over it so he fervently insisting on staying at Camp Halfblood.

He wasn't much for the whole Christmas thing since... He choked, holding back a sob as his chest tightened. Christmas used to be a favorite of his and Bianca's. It just wasn't the same without her.

Holding back another sob, the pressure in his chest tightened more and the loneliness he denied hung over like a thick cloud, sinking every minute as it gained more weight. His skin had began to crawl, itching for the one thing that he'd known to release the pressure and let him express his denied feelings - even if only temporarily.

Shakily, he moved from his fetile position and headed for the bathroom, clenching and unclenching his fists as he wobbled, taking in large gulps of air; body tense with overwhelming, conflicting emotions.

Stopping in front of the mirror, Nico's gaze moved to stare at the reflection. Puffy, red eyes with heavy bags wasn't His best look, but it had become his most common one as of late.

He took in another shaky breath, eyes flickering to the cabinet where he knew his sharp, silvertongued friend lay in wait. He could hear it whisper sweet promises of comfort, begging to be used after sitting idle for so long. Was he really going to do this after coming so far?

He needed this, he told himself. Now more than ever.

He gripped the cabinet's handle - and a knock on the cabin's door caused him to jump.

"Shit," he cursed, heart racing as his body filled with anxiety. The urge was still ever most present, if not more from unexpected fear, and it took a second series of knocks for him to be able pull himself away.

Exiting the bathroom, he warily headed for the door. But, apparently being a tad slow, the door swung just as he crossed halfway through the room, and the blonde blue-eyed boy who stepped inside stopped him in his tracks.

"Jason?" Nico's voice wavered as he stared wide-eyed, unbelieving. "What are- weren't-what?"

Jason grinned, and before he could reply Frank and Percy burst in, carrying a smaller, artificial Christmas tree. After setting the already decorated tree by an outlet, the two began plugging in the lights as the rest of the crew filed in.

Nico, unable to talk as a lump formed in his throat and emotion rose in his chest, watched. Annabeth, Piper, Hazel, Leo, Calypso... even Reyna and Will. They were all here; piles of presents held in their hands that they arranged around the tree.

"You didn't think we'd leave you alone on Christmas, did you?" Jason teased, and it was then that Nico noticed the present he held in his hands as well.

His eyes had begun to water by then, and he furiously fought the urge to cry. New emotions were beginning to overwhelm him. Emotions he wasn't used to feeling anymore despite having been on the road to recovery for a time now.

Good emotions.

"W-why?" Was all he managed to croak out.

"Here," Jason said, ignoring Nico's question as he held out the present. "This one's for you. Merry Christmas, dude."

Nico took it in his shaky grip and stared at the present. It wasn't perfectly wrapped by any means, the paper was blue and had ugly snowmen on it and was wrinkled near the corners and had a little tear, but it was his. His. And that made it perfectly beautiful in his eyes, and he couldn't bring himself to tear the paper off in that moment.

Because, in that moment, it didn't matter what Jason had gotten him. All that mattered was that Jason had thought of him, and so had the others, and they were all there.

Nico wasn't alone. And that was enough.


End file.
